


I'll Share In Your Suffering

by fluffier432



Series: Marvel Oneshots [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftermath, Aftermath of the Snap, Gen, Irondad/spiderson - Freeform, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Thanos snap, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump, dad tony stark, just death, no soul world here folks, suicidal Tony stark, suicide warning, the author is sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 15:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17901089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffier432/pseuds/fluffier432
Summary: "I'm sorry."It felt so wrong, the way one second he was there and the next...not. It was different from a death, it was more like he fell out of existence. It was anticlimactic. Tony hated it. Everyone hated it.Or the one where Tony realises he can only control one thing and time is not it.





	I'll Share In Your Suffering

**_“I’m_ ** _sorry.”_

And just like that, his kid was gone.

His kid. His Peter.

It felt so wrong, the way one second he was there and the next...not. It was different from a death, it was more like he fell out of existence. It was anticlimactic. Tony hated it. Everyone hated it.

Was this one out of fourteen million universes where Peter’s body faded? Did he turn to dust in every possibility? It was morbid to think about, yet Tony couldn't help but wonder if at least _one_ of the Tony’s had a chance to give his kid a proper burial. It was the only thing that was close to closure.

_“Mr. Stark, please…”_

He would give anything to hear Peter’s voice again, even if he was pleading for his life. As long as he still _had_ a life to plead for. Even with all the pain that came with those words, Tony would be grateful to know he could still _feel_. Right now, Tony couldn’t be sure that there was blood coursing through his veins.

_“I don’t know what’s happening.”_

_Did anyone?_ Tony wanted to scream. _Does anyone at all know what’s going on?_ He doesn’t. He tries to avoid knowing things. After all, the last time he knew something it was the fact that his kid was dying.

_“You’re alright.”_

The last thing he said to Peter. What a stupid thing to say. A lie. It couldn’t have been something that Peter could believe, like _I love you_ or...or what? There was more he had wanted to say, but the feeling of those tense fingers on his back dissipating caught his words in his throat. _I’m sorry, this is my fault, I love you, please don’t go…_

_“I don’t feel so good.”_

Eight months later and Tony can remember how it felt. The cold, cold burst of _shock_ and _fear_ and _no no this can’t be happening_ replacing blood cells. It was backwards; Peter was the only one dying, but Tony could’ve sworn his heart stopped when the kid’s eyes strayed from their intense focus on Tony’s.

 _Everything_ was backwards. Every time the horrible nightmare played in his mind’s eye, Tony watched it backwards. Never once did it start with a scared, too-loud  _Mr. Stark,_ instead with the sad, weak  _I’m sorry._ As if Tony’s mind wanted the worst over with. He had to question, was the ending really the worst part of it? The haunting scene was scarring from start to finish, the terrifying realisation as horrible as the reality of it. And even though it was over now, Peter was still dead. There was no changing that.

The only solution was to change something else. There was only one thing Tony had control of anymore, and that was his own life.

_If death’s the end goal, who wants to be the sad fucker to come in last?_


End file.
